


Hard to Handle

by emma98



Category: Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Casual Sex, Thor Is a Good Bro, cornier than a field in kansas, friends with benefits breakup and makeup, jane is an adorable drunk, mentions of Captain America and more specifically Natasha setting Darcy and Steve up, otis redding understands, sombreros nudity and love confessions, the taming of Johnny Storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma98/pseuds/emma98
Summary: It was a super duper bad idea to get involved with a human fireball that was incapable of monogamy, Darcy knew that.  But she did it anyway, because her secret weakness is super hot ne'er do wells.The good thing is that being with Johnny made Darcy realize she wanted MORE from a relationship than really hot sex.It takes all the tequila, losing his clothes, the threat of Captain America's giant hose monster getting near his girl and a giant sombrero to give Johnny the courage to realize he might want more too.





	Hard to Handle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katherinedennings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katherinedennings/gifts).



> So my lovely friend Becka on tumblr sent me this prompt. It is based on a true story regarding Channing Tatum and his wife, Jenna Dewan-Tatum. She gave him a sort of ultimatum and was going to move on, and he showed up at her hotel room naked with a giant sombrero and wearing ugg boots.
> 
> Naturally, Becka and I agreed that this made the perfect sort of story for Darcy and Johnny. So---here we are.
> 
> I listened to a lot of Otis Redding while writing this, and came up with a few theme songs.  
> 
>  
> 
> [Love Man](https://youtu.be/P3ZdheRKzMk), is clearly Johnny's song.
> 
> And [Hard to Handle](https://youtu.be/1ZxN9iQM7OY) is kind of the theme song for the fic.  

**Hard to Handle**

* * *

  

"Hey."

 

"Go _hey_ yourself right over a fucking cliff."

 

Darcy took some small amount of righteous glee at the sudden fall in Johnny Storm's expression over her complete, abrupt dismissal of him.  He _had_ been looking as he normally did: suave and confident and all too good looking for his own good.  He'd been flirtatious and congenial and all of those attributes had drained right off of him and he stared down at Darcy in hurt confusion.

 

They'd had a thing.  Darcy and Johnny.  Darcy had been weak, to be sure.  She was fully aware of all of her weakness in this _thing_ that had happened.

 

But after London and the Dark Elves, Jane and Darcy had gone back stateside.  And Fury had demanded that Jane collaborate with the PRIOR foremost experts on outer space to figure out a few things that were bothering him, namely, why things like the Ether and the Tesseract kept finding their way to Earth.  

 

The PRIOR foremost experts on all things non-Midgard had unfortunately been the Fantastic Four.  

 

In a showing of solidarity for Thor and Thor's claimed people, Tony had crashed the symposium on the first day with Bruce Banner in tow.  He hadn't helped so much as just poked at Reed Richards with a stick, quite literally within fifteen minutes of Fury's frighteningly short welcome speech (‘ _You genius assholes should not blow up the planet, the solar system, the galaxy...or anything.  Get me?’_ ).  

 

Perhaps it was because Tony Stark had no impulse control and sense of self-preservation for his well being.  Perhaps it was because Jane would shout at Sue Storm at the top of her lungs every hour on the hour (then both would break down when exhaustion hit and they’d hug and cry and cuddle, much to Tony’s delight).  Perhaps it was because even Bruce would snarkily swipe at Reed Richards (Darcy didn't blame him, Reed Richards was the human equivalent of a hangover plus herpes plus an allergy fit).  

 

Nick Fury had tasked her with handling the scientists and getting results.  And while she didn't think of herself as an ambitious person, she did want to accomplish that task.  Just to spite the brilliant convergence of people in the workspace.  They had the combined intelligence to take down humanity, but Darcy would keep them on task and would make sure that they didn’t---take down humanity.  

 

Johnny Storm, had been a wild card.  And had offered respite.  And a really phenomenal makeout session in the supply closet.  And then just a few nights in her hotel room that had been...really, really hot (she cringed about the flamey fire references, but it was really the only way to describe it).

 

She and Johnny got on like a house on fire (sigh), really.  Her dry sarcasm complimented his flirty, playful charming asshole routine.  

 

She kind of knew that two weeks into the Science Nerd Symposium 2014, that she was screwed.  And despite her best efforts, she had let it fester and linger now for _months._ It was a big mistake.  Huge.  Because she had _the feelings_ .  It was like the herpes of emotions.   _Feelings_.  

 

Darcy hated herself a little, but figured that maybe, just maybe, she was finally growing up.  Feelings were good.  Natasha had told her that once she had feelings like that, and then consequently gotten her heart broken and put it back together, well then, Darcy might be ready to be introduced to Steve Rogers then.

 

Darcy actually was very eager and did want to be introduced to Steve Rogers.  She had a first edition comic that could really use a signature on it.  

 

In the meantime though, there was Johnny's face.  All the joviality washed off, looking sort of like a stone faced Captain America for a bit.  

 

"What'd I do?" Johnny blinked down at her in confusion.

 

"Nothing, just. Nothing," Darcy waved him off, tucking that day's newspaper a little further under what she called her Organizational Material and Tony called her Trapper Keeper.  She'd been reading on through the trashier bits of the very trashy _New York Lives_ , looking for bits and pieces about Tony to tease him with when she'd seen the picture of Johnny at a bar, laughing and having a ball, with four blondes surrounding him, each one managing to get a hand on him.

 

They weren't exclusive.  She knew that.

 

But she _wanted_ to be.  She wanted to be exclusive with Johnny Storm.  She wanted to be his _girlfriend._

 

And that really, really stuck in her craw something fierce.  She wasn't exactly sure what a craw was, but man, it really fucking sucked.

 

"We're gonna go out tonight once I drop the nerdy bendy dude off back at Baxter," Johnny began again, a little hesitant this time, looking like he didn't exactly want to poke the angry little bear cub in front of him.  "Barton said he'll buy shots if I can get Reed to have a meltdown this afternoon."

 

"Really, dude?" Darcy huffed out a sigh, running one hand up and over her forehead and tangling in her hair.  She yanked just a little in annoyance and shook her head.  "Fine, whatever have a blast."

 

"Lewis, babe, what did I do?" Johnny demanded, then shivered.  "Fucking Christ, now I sound like one of those idiots in a rom-com.  This is ridiculous."

 

"You're ridiculous," Darcy spat out.

 

"Says the lady, being fucking ridiculous," Johnny huffed out angrily, his hands settling on his hips, his whole body hunching towards Darcy in a single line of annoyance.  "I didn't do shit to you, Lewis, stop being a bi---a---"

 

"We're done," Darcy said calmly, all the fight drawn out of her as Johnny hesitated on what to call her.  

 

"What?" Johnny blinked at her, his face the picture of confusion and surprise.

 

"Don't come to my hotel room tonight, drunk out of your mind and expecting a booty call," Darcy flung her trapper keeper open and began rifling through materials.

 

"Excuse me, Lewis, one, I don't need booty calls, and two, last time I was at your hotel room it was because you enthusiastically invited me," Johnny reminded her.  

 

"Look, I know I'm being crazy right now, but please, just," Darcy shook her head and looked up at him, a small smile playing at her lips.  She took a deep breath and willed herself to have some courage.  "You and I are in very different places."

 

"We're the same age," Johnny reminded her.  "And we're standing in the same building, working on the same project, we're kind of---in exactly the same place.  Why are you being weird, Lewis?  We had the start of some pretty good---"

 

"I want something _more_ ," Darcy said bluntly.  "I want---I want commitment.  And lazy Sundays.  And an apartment that has a toaster and not some hotel coffee maker to warm up my pop tarts in the morning.  And a bird!  Or a fish.  Or something that doesn't smell.  A pet rock, fuck I don't know.  But I'm---I'm ready for more, and you're not, that's cool.  You're not it.  But if we hadn't done this thing together, I wouldn't know I wanted more.  So thank you for that."

 

She took a quick breath, having spoken faster than she had ever managed to do before.  Her cheeks were flushing, and Johnny was looking at her as if she had sprouted another head on her neck.  She smiled up at him and shrugged, "Seriously.  Thank you for that."

 

"You're welcome?" Johnny wrinkled his nose.

 

"STARK! HANDS OFF THE POWER SOURCE!" Reed could be heard screaming on the other side of the lab.

 

"Looks like Tony's working on getting your shots paid for tonight," Darcy winked at Johnny and grinned that gap toothed grin of hers, feeling a weight off of her shoulders at having unburdened her thoughts in a spew of word vomit all over him.  She shut her trapper keeper again and called out, "Tony!  If you can give me schematics on how to make Richards' power source better in the next five minutes, I'll approve them."

 

She fairly skipped away, leaving Johnny to stand there, his mouth still hanging open like a fish, trying to process everything that had been said in a very short period of time.

 

"I can warm up poptarts in my hands.  And who the fuck wants a fish?" Johnny finally whispered.  "What in the hell do you do with a fish?"

  


* * *

 

 

"TEQUILA!!!!!!!!!!"

 

The battle cry had come from Jane Foster of all people as she stood up in her seat, holding her shot glass high.  Thor chuckled from his place beside his lady love and watched as Jane swayed on her feet demanding more.  He looked over the rest of the small party that had the entire bar to themselves thanks to Tony's aversion to the general unwashed masses.  It was a small party to be sure.  Tony and Bruce were currently on the telephone, archaic little brick like boxes that the Midgardians relied upon far too much, and Rhodey's image was being projected as the trio of brilliant men were passionately discussing what might have been Midgardian science.

 

Or it could have been about pineapples on pizza.  Thor was never sure what those entertaining Midgardian geniuses were talking about at any given moment.  

 

Jane and Susan Storm were drinking next to Thor, and they were woefully short on the precious tequila.  Thor respected the tequila.  It was the closest of any spirit on Midgard that could compare to Asgardian meade.  Currently, his lady love and Susan Storm were engaged in a contest.  Truth or truth.  He understood little about the game, and suspected that they had made it up after the first three shots.

 

He only understood that they were now, quite inebriated, and in desperate need of spirits.

 

Susan's brother, Jonathan of the Storm's was sitting at the same table, but he had been quiet and unresponsive all night, simply taking shot after shot of tequila, outpacing both Jane and Susan easily.  Jane and Susan had insisted he be included in the games, but he did not wish to answer anything, so he had instead begun stripping out of his clothing and currently was down to his small undershorts and one lone sock.  

 

He clearly needed more tequila, but Darcy was not there, and therefore, Thor, Jane, Susan and Jonathan were woefully lacking in the magic that Darcy held in her arsenal when it came to waitstaff and bartenders.  She could magic food and drink from anyone, a true little tender of the hearth.

  


"Barton!" Thor called out, spotting the archer by the claw game in the corner of the bar.  "Bring more tequila.  Jonathan's heart is breaking and he requires more."

 

"You have a heart?" Jane looked down at Johnny curiously.

 

"Yes, I have a heart!  Rude!" Johnny chastised her.  "I just---don't like using it. I prefer using my dick, actually.  It’s so much smarter."

 

"Where is my lightning sister?  She is capable of brightening the most miserable of beings," Thor nodded in agreement with himself as Jane finally stopped standing on her chair, instead, folding herself in Thor's comfortable lap as Clint approached with three bottles of tequila.

 

"Busy," Clint answered, sparing a smirk to an oblivious Johnny, who had immediately grabbed one of the bottles of tequila and taken a large pull off of it, spluttering in discomfort immediately.   "Probably getting ready for a date, actually."

 

Johnny's spluttering turned into big, harsh sounding coughs.  Thor pounded on his back for good measure and gave him a concerned look.

 

"I had wanted to consult with Natasha," Thor admitted.  "I feel that Lady Darcy is certainly ready to engage in more fulfilling activities after her tryst with Ian in London."

  


"Who?" Johnny asked between coughs.

 

"Yesterday's news!" Jane shouted.  She held up her shot glass.  "TRUTH!  DARCY NEEDS TO GET HER A SLICE OF ALL AMERICAN APPLE PIE!"

 

"Indeed, my love, Darcy and Steven are very well suited for each other," Thor grinned at her.

 

"What?" Johnny looked around in confusion.  

 

"Tequila!" Tony shouted, taking hats that had been hanging as decorations off of the wall and spinning them towards the table next to him.  Sue reached up and caught an old fashioned policeman's cap and handed it to Jane before grabbing a good ole bowler hat for herself.

 

Johnny didn't even notice the sombrero landing on his head.

 

"Nat says she can have it set up in two days, and Darce always said he was just her type, or his butt was" Clint gave two thumbs up.  "Two birds, one stone...or bone.  heh."

 

"You're an idiot," Bruce advised Clint.

 

"I know."

 

* * *

 

Otis Redding understood.  

 

Sure, he was sadly deceased, but he managed to transcend death and other trivial matters and descended from heaven and out of her ipod speakers, speaking truth to her very core.  

 

After work, Darcy had come back to the hotel with an entire large cheese pizza, eaten half of it, had two beers, and then had fallen face first onto her bed after choosing her _Otis Understands_ playlist.  And he did.  Understand.  

 

Until _Love Man_ came on, and Darcy zoned in on the lyrics and shivered, realizing that it could potentially be Johnny’s theme song.  She clumsily crawled on the bed in desperation in order to skip to the next song.  She flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.  It had been good to come to her realizations, it was GREAT.  But she would allow herself the indulgence of just one night to be morose.  She'd briefly grieve and mull over the fact that she wasn't enough to get Johnny in the same spot she was in.  

 

And tomorrow, everything would be gravy.

 

And she'd accept Natasha's offer to visit DC for the weekend.  

 

It'd be great.

 

She dozed off and woke up in a startled panic as a banging on her door rattled the deadbolt.

 

"LEWIS!" her last name was like a keening, mourning sound on the other side of the door.  There was a pause and it came back, "Lewis?  You there?  Or did you leave already?  Did---did you ---Lewis?"

 

Darcy wiped the crusty sleep out of her eyes and managed to roll herself out of the bed, rushing towards the door and looking through the peephole.

 

She wasn't quite expecting to see what she saw on the other side.

 

She quickly opened the door and there he was---Johnny Storm.  Nearly nude.  Nearly nude except for the sombrero on his head, his ridiculous expensive boxer briefs and a pair of very furry Ugg boots.

 

"I have so many questions," Darcy whispered.  She peered down at his feet, which were crammed into uggs too small for him, furry and gray and ridiculous looking and she saw one patterned sock sticking up and above the left Ugg.  "Where did your other sock go---oh mmffpph..."

 

He kissed her mouth shut and Darcy was nearly knocked to her feet by the stench of tequila off of him.  His hands were warm on her cheeks and they were getting warmer by the second.  She reached out and put her hand on his chest, petting at first, but at the first sign of uncomfortable heat on her cheeks she quickly grabbed his right nipple and twisted with all of her might until he yelped into her mouth and let her go.

 

"Watch the flames, dude, remember?" Darcy said breathlessly, stepping into her hotel room and pulling Johnny in by the strings hanging from his sombrero.  The first time they’d knocked boots, she had gotten a minor burn on her hip.  Johnny had been sick about it, actually.  She looked him up and down and shrugged.  "I don't get it."

 

"I want a puppy, well, it doesn't have to be a puppy. A rescue dog would be smart, I think, cause they’re smart and usually don’t need such crazy intense training," Johnny blurted out.  "Not a fish.  Fish are the dumbest thing I ever heard of.  I mean---what do you do with a fish?  Aside from make it into a fish stick?"

 

"WHAT?" Darcy blinked up at him owlishly.  

 

"Let's do this.  Let's fuck this shit up, dude," Johnny nodded at her, reaching for her again and hauling her in for a kiss.  

 

"Johnny---Johnny!" Darcy ducked out and away from his drunken lurch for her.  She laughed as he pouted at his arm full of empty air and she demanded, "What is the meaning of all this?"

 

"I want to do this, I want to be a grown up," Johnny insisted.  "The lazy Sunday thing---the toaster?  Yeah, shit yeah, that sounds awesome.  I mean the toaster is unnecessary but we can get one, it’ cool."

 

"Really?" Darcy's voice was small and breathless.  

 

"Yeah, we can do it, we're going to be so kick ass at this," Johnny gave her a soft little smile, stepping closer to her, looking just a little off balance.  

 

"How much tequila did you have, dude?" Darcy laughed as Johnny swiped at empty air again with both arms in an attempt to have her in his arms.  He was an adorable drunk.

 

"All of the tequila?" Johnny questioned.  He nodded and made another attempt to bring her into a hug.  "All of it, yeah."

 

"We are doing NOTHING, until you're sober," Darcy said resolutely.

 

"It's cool, I can burn it off, usually it happens as soon as I pass out, it's awesome, cause no hangover," Johnny grinned at her.  He held up an already flaming finger.  "Hold on, gimmee  a second, I have to concentrate."

 

"Not here!" Darcy shouted, blowing his finger out, waving at the smoke so they didn't force a hotel wide evacuation.  She began pushing at him, laughing when he took her physical proximity to his advantage and began peppering kisses all through out her hair.  She shivered when his lips enveloped the top of her ear and through some kind of superhuman effort managed to get the shower door open and Johnny into it.

 

"Yes, naked showers, you are the best," Johnny grinned drunkenly at her.  "When we live together, we can TOTALLY have naked showers every night."

 

"I usually shower naked, Johnny," Darcy laughed.  

 

"You have the funnest laugh," Johnny went from grinning lecherously to dreamy and dazed in a moment as he stared at her.  "It's just---it makes me think of fun.  Like, future fun.  All the time fun.  Fun when I'm like---old and shit."

 

"Awesome," Darcy held up two thumbs up before gesturing with her hands for him to continue.  "Go on, flame off the drunk so we can really talk."

 

"Okay.  Cool," Johnny nodded.  He swayed on his feet and tried to get his catchphrase out, but instead asked, "Don't date Captain America, okay?  I don't want you taking any star spangled hose monster cause I don’t think I’m packing what he’s---you know---"

 

"WHAT?!?"

 

And then he passed out, falling into a Johnny shaped pile in the generously sized shower.  Darcy sighed and rolled her eyes, contemplating if she should get him a pillow or not.  Pillows were highly flammable.  But then again, so was the sombrero.

 

She wrangled the hat off of his head and pulled off the uggs and one sock for good measure, placing them on the bathroom counter before looking back at Johnny curiously, wondering if he'd feel the same way when he woke up sober the next morning.

* * *

 

 

Having a passed out Johnny Storm in your shower was a lot cuter when it wasn't early in the morning, and Darcy DIDN'T need to use the shower before she went into work for a Saturday morning.  The rest of the science team was not there, but she knew Reed Richards would be, and lord forbid she allow him to work alone.  Wars were started over less offensive things than Reed moving Jane's duct tape.

 

"Wake up," Darcy repeated herself for the fifth time in the last two minutes.  She poked at him with her toe warily.  Johnny had jolted awake one night and had nearly lit the whole mattress on fire after a little nightmare.  The last thing she wanted to do was shake him awake and lose her eyebrows.  "DUDE.  I have to shower.  I cannot go out and face the day without a shower.  WAKE UP."

 

"Mmmmaappfff," Johnny unintelligibly mumbled in his sleep.

 

She reached for one of the uggs on the sink and tossed the offensive boot at his face, unsurprised when he spasmed violently out of his sleep and put both hands on the boot, lighting it on fire.  Darcy quickly reached in and turned the shower on, putting the fire out in short order.  

 

"What?" Johnny looked around as the rain gently fell around him.  "What happened?"

 

"You drank all the tequila," Darcy reminded him, being very careful not to tell him all that he had said last night.

 

She wanted to see if he would repeat the sentiments sober.  

 

"S'wet," Johnny mumbled as he pulled himself up to his feet, washing the ash of the poor boot off of his hands.  

 

"Water usually is," Darcy agreed with him sarcastically.

 

He smiled at her, and it was such a gentle expression, not filled with his usual swagger and arrogance, but instead it felt appreciative and caring and genuine.  She took a step back from him out of some sort of self preservation instinct.  

 

"So---I need a shower," Darcy shrugged, regretting how her body had been on auto-pilot after waking, stripping herself nude and stumbling to the bathroom where she had quickly grabbed a towel when she had been reminded of Johnny’s presence in her shower.

 

"You're not that dirty of a girl," Johnny smirked then, turning the shower off and stepping out dripping wet in only his underwear.  He gave her a long, appreciative glance up and down and then back up again, licking his lips as her blush went a little deeper.  "I want what those assholes in rom-coms always cut off at the end of the movie."

 

"Huh?" Darcy blinked up at him as he began advancing on her.  

 

"You know, when the guy or the girl makes the heartfelt confession and then they get the kiss," Johnny crowded her against the sink.  He dipped his head and nuzzled against her ear, his lips placing a sloppy, wet kiss on her cheek, then her jaw, then gently, frustratingly so, capturing her lips in a soft little tease.  His hands rested on the edge of the sink as he crowded her with his bulk, his kiss soft and gentle, but the warm, wet mass of him leaning heavily against her.

 

Darcy couldn't help it, her hands went to his waist and her fingers danced their way to the small of his back, pushing against him hard so he pressed closer.  She tilted her head and managed to turn the innocent, gentle caress of his lips into something so much more substantial, his swollen bottom lip getting caught between her teeth and then immediately soothed by a clever swipe of her tongue.

 

"Shit," Johnny breathed into her mouth when she pulled away.  His hands were heating up on the sink and she patted his back.  "Sorry, right.  You gotta stop being so damned good.  You're gonna drive me off a cliff someday, Lewis."

 

"Someday," Darcy nodded a little.  "So was that how the rom-com ended?"

 

"Yup," his lecherous grin was back.  "But I have better things in mind.  I want what happens after the fade to black, Lewis.  I want the bonus ending.  The super naughty post credits scene."

 

Darcy laughed when he began voraciously kissing her neck, and Johnny didn’t mind one bit.  He really did think she had a great laugh, boisterous and carefree and so genuine that it was embarrassing.  And two, her distraction with laughing at him was allowing him to leave absolutely lurid hickies on the pale column of her neck, he moved to her collarbone and while his hands were clenched on the bathroom counter, cooling down to an appropriate temperature to touch, he improvised with his teeth, tugging at the tucked in towel that was her only cover.

 

“You are slick, dude.  Just a really slick dude,” Darcy’s laughter abated and was replaced with a dreamy sigh as he placed open mouth kisses on the swell of her generous breast, sucking on the skin to bring an instant mark up on her pale skin.  “You fucking little shit.”

 

“Rude, you’ve ridden the industrial strength sparkler to Orgasm land _multiple_ times, babe,” Johnny smirked up at her. He groaned when her hand went from the small of his back to the front of his underpants, diving right in and underneath the waistband with her typical, infectious enthusiasm.  He loved that about her.  Darcy saw what she wanted and went after it with gusto.  She gently rubbed up and down his cock, biting on her bottom lip in such a non intentional teasing little way that Johnny quickly shot up and kissed her, challenging her for the honor of biting that lush bottom lip.  He pulled away with a satisfied smirk,  “Not nice to lie about its size when it’s ready to make you see fireworks again.”

 

“So _corny_ , how did you score so many ladies when you are an actual facts, cornstalk with a penis?” Darcy demanded sassily.

 

“Cornstalk?” Johnny arched an eyebrow at her.  

 

“It’s like you were just taken out of a field in Kansas,” Darcy grinned.  

 

He kissed her again, right on that gap toothed grin and then bent at the waist, throwing her over his shoulder and yanking her from the bathroom.  

 

“You’re wet and still stink of tequila!” Darcy accused smacking him on his ass for good measure.  She shrieked with laughter again when he threw her on the end of the bed and immediately just dove right on top of her, blanketed her body except for an inch of space he left between their faces.

 

“Hey babe,” he grinned down at her.  

 

“Breath mint at least?” Darcy asked hopefully.

 

“Breath mint,” Johnny rolled his eyes at her, before twisting off of her and rolling himself on the bed to her bedside table, pulling out the tin of breath mints he knew Darcy kept there for early morning kisses.  He popped one in and then began to roll back.  He stopped himself halfway back to her, and rolled back to the bedside table pressing play on her ipod.

 

Darcy felt her heart start beating a little funny when he gave her a genuinely beautiful little smile and waggled his eyebrows, “I know you need a soundtrack in case of the bed squeaking, and babe, I’m gonna make this bed squeak.”

 

Darcy laughed raucously as Johnny started rolling back to her as Otis Redding began playing again.  

 

“Your underwear are still wet,” Darcy reminded him around her giggles.

 

“Oh, then yeah, gotta get rid of those,” Johnny nodded, stopping mid roll as he kicked his legs up to the ceiling and shimmied the wet boxer briefs off.  He looked down at his erection and gave it a wink.  “Let’s go Big Guy.”

 

“You have more corn than the Jolly Green Giant!” Darcy accused, shrieking with laughter when he dove for her, laying right on top of her again, his face inches from hers once more.  Her giggles stopped when he kissed her slow and deep, his tongue rolling against hers in circles that pulled at something in his gut.  He pulled away and Darcy took a little halting breath at the way he was looking at her.  With care and desire and want.

 

“I’ll just have to keep my mouth occupied to keep the corn at bay,” Johnny shrugged and began kissing the previous hickies he had painted up and down her neck earlier.  

 

“Later today you’re running to the store and getting me a fresh bottle of cover up, the kind they use on Broadway,” Darcy sighed as his hands, now a more palatable temperature ran up and down the sides of her body, pausing at her breasts and cupping the sides of them.  “Don’t do it, loser.  Don’t…”

 

Johnny grinned and shrugged, pushing her ample breasts together and putting his face in the line of her considerable cleavage.  He blew raspberries against the delicate skin, the noise loud and obnoxious.

 

“The motorboating could be a deal breaker,” Darcy warned him.  

 

“Nah, I’m just doing what deserves to be done to your mighty and glorious bounty,” Johnny promised, leaning in and doing it again.  His playful ministrations turned serious soon enough and he moved his head in order to capture her right nipple in his mouth, loving the way it tightened under his tongue and the way Darcy’s breath hitched.  He let his hands squeeze gently before quickly lavishing the same attention on the left nipple and reluctantly pulling back to hear her whine of disappointment.  “So---where are you right now? Like how much work do I have to put in here before I get to the good stuff?”

 

“ASSHOLE,” Darcy accused.  

 

“Really?  Babe, you said you wouldn’t want to let me go through the backdoor---”

 

“JOHNNY!” Darcy scolded, her voice still ringing with laughter.  “When you let me put things up your ass for a good time, then you can return the favor.”

 

“Cool, no backdoor stuff then,” Johnny nodded, giving her a wink before diving in again for another kiss.  

 

All jokes aside, Darcy had no complaints with Johnny’s bedroom skills.  His hands were _never_ cold, and once she saw the one hundred percent clean test results from his panel, she actually _appreciated_ his vast and varied experience.  The very first time they had fallen into bed (the janitor’s closet) together, Johnny had been able to find that spot just above the bend in her knee that made her---

 

“Oh shit, oh sweet baby Jesus,” Darcy shivered as long, warm fingers had meandered down her body as Johnny had distracted her with kisses and he managed to press and stroke and tickle at the magic spot on the back of her leg that had her back coming up and off the bed, brushing hardened nipples against Johnny’s skin.

 

“Point one goes to Storm, for inciting the fantastic blasphemy,” Johnny’s eyes crinkled when his victory smile broke out.  

 

“You know I did take a whole twelve pack of triple A batteries from work today before I left,” Darcy arched a defiant eyebrow although she kept shivering every time Johnny took a pass at her sensitive spot.

 

“No Mr. Pinkie right now, we’ll break him out tonight for nighttime fun,” Johnny promised her, kissing her lips one last time before starting the slow, torturous descent down Darcy’s body, kissing all of his favorite spots.  He smirked when she readily parted her legs for him, and gave her a _shhhhh_ when he bypassed the Holy Land (patent pending).  

 

Instead, he lifted up her right leg and maneuvered himself so he could place a feather light kiss on that magic spot of hers, loving that she was essentially writhing on the bed in response.  His repeated kisses there grew in intensity until finally he managed to suck a well done hickie.

 

“Fuck!” Darcy was shaking from the intensity of it, not understanding how she was so close but when he went to suck on her skin again, making what she was fairly sure was a lopsided heart-shaped hickie, she couldn’t stop herself from hooking her left leg on his shoulders, bringing her hands down to the hair just long enough to grasp onto and yanking his face to where she so desperately needed him.

 

To his credit, he did her wordless bidding happily, licking a wide stripe up glistening lips.  He kept one hand on that spot above her right knee, stroking the freshly made hickie there reverently while his other hand gripped her thigh, opening her up to him so he could spell his name out with his tongue.

 

“A Plus plus plus penmanship, dude,” Darcy gasped out.  “Your elementary school teachers must have been so proud.”

 

“Boner killer, Lewis. I was homeschooled,” Johnny mumbled against her skin before gently bringing his lips around her hardened nub and humming gently.  He groaned and felt his erection twitching against the bedsheets when her fingers scratched his scalp urgently.  

 

“Keep doing that,” Darcy ordered harshly, squirming in her need.  She was so damned close, she could feel it building and pushing and right at the tips of her fingertips.  Her hips came up and off the bed and she was rocking herself against Johnny’s face, muttering the entire time distractedly, “Go Johnny go, go Johnny go go go---”

 

It took every ounce of his willpower (not very much) for Johnny not to laugh at that, he gripped his hand on her thigh and sucked against her clit and was rewarded with a stuttered cry from Darcy’s lips.  He switched to firm, slow licks until she went boneless on the bed and he put his cheek against her thigh and looked up the length of her body as she recovered.

 

“Cool, let’s go do breakfast, I could eat like, eight short stacks,” Darcy patted against his head gently.  

 

“Awwww,” Johnny whined.

 

“What’s the matter, champ?  You’re not done yet?”  Darcy teased.  Her toes nudged at his waist and she wiggled feeling back into her extremities and she quickly tried to get him on his back, only to suddenly be blanketed by his body again.  She smiled at him softly and whispered, “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Johnny answered, licking his shiny lips.  “You okay?”

 

“Perfect,” Darcy nodded.

 

“Yeah, you are,” Johnny’s voice was a quiet, soft thing, feeling foreign to Darcy’s ears.  She ran her hands up his arms to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a chaste brush of the lips.  He felt himself twitch against the soft skin of her stomach and his voice was raspy and needy, “Can we?”

 

“Yeah, yes,” Darcy assured him, hitching her legs as high as she could on his hips.  Johnny quickly popped up on his elbows and stared down at her as she lined him up, and quite frankly she was happy for the distraction.  The dreamy expression on Johnny’s face seemed completely out of character and more importantly she’d never seen it aimed at her before.  

 

His hips surged forward, and any further rational thought flew from her head as her hands pressed against his sides.  Johnny never disappointed her when it came to how he felt inside of her and he more than knew what he was doing with what he was so generously given.  

 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Johnny breathed against her cheek.  “How do you always feel like---like---”

 

Darcy let her hands go to the small of his back, pushing against him in time with the snaps of his hips into her.  She knew what he was trying to say, because at that moment, feeling him drag decadently along her inner walls, the heat and weight of him against her as his hips took quick, small strokes, she knew what it felt like.  It felt perfect.  It felt like heaven.  

 

“Babe---babe,” Johnny gasped.  

 

Darcy could feel the heat coming off of him in waves.

 

“I’m not gonna last,” he apologized.

 

Darcy arched her hips up, and the slight change in angle felt so damned good.  She stroked the sweaty skin on his back and closed her eyes, trying to will herself closer.  

 

“Shoulda got Mr. Pinkie out,” Johnny grunted.  

 

“No no, we got this,” Darcy promised.  She took one hand off of his back and brought it between them, her fingers pressing against her clit hard as she tried her damndest to get there with him.  But then she clenched around his length when he’d pressed his hips into her, it proved too much and he was a mess above her.

 

Johnny was strangely beautiful and ridiculous when he came.  His head always went back no matter what position they were in and his mouth formed a perfect _O_ shape.  

 

“Johnny..too hot,” Darcy whispered as his skin went just a few degrees past acceptable.  She could feel his release inside of her, hot and pulsing.  

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Johnny panted, opening his eyes.  He furrowed his brow, “Did you?”

 

“It’s okay, I got mine earlier,” Darcy assured him.

 

“But,” Johnny was breathless, which was quite a feat.  He didn’t pull out of her, still hard enough to grind into her, causing her to moan.   “C’mon Lewis, one more.”

 

His eased more weight onto his left hand and his right joined Darcy’s as he continued to grind against her.  It didn’t take much, and Johnny had to admit that as nice as it seems to orgasm together, you missed certain things that way.  He loved seeing her come undone.  There was nothing better in the world than watching that flush creep across the pale skin of her breasts as they bounced with short pants for air.  Darcy’s lips were made for this, for biting between her teeth as she got closer and closer and closer…

 

“Oh good good good good,” Darcy chanted, her _‘good’’s_ becoming unintelligible and sounding a little like _god_ every once in awhile.

 

“Fuck, I love you,” Johnny whispered as he watched her come.

 

“Huh?” Darcy tried to blink out of her immediate fog after her orgasm.

 

“Nothing, you’re beautiful,” Johnny smiled, almost shyly.

 

“Hmmm, you are too,” Darcy assured him, gripping one beautiful ass cheek in her hand and squeezing with all her might.

 

“Lewis, BABE!  I said no butt stuff!”

 

* * *

 

"DARCE! DARCE!  OH MY GOD, YOU'RE HERE.  WE LOST JOHNNY!" Jane reached for Darcy's hands as she walked into the lab, seeing that the whole crew was there.  "He took the bartender’s shoes and stumbled out of the bar drunker than that Vanaheim skunk we ran into, and he didn't get picked up by his driver and Sue said he's not at the Baxter Building, or the upstate mansion, and even the paparazzi can't find him!  We totally lost the Human Torch.  And it's been all weekend and we can't find him!"

 

"Uhm---well---not really," Darcy said quietly.

 

"Do you know where my brother is?" Sue demanded desperately, looking suddenly hopeful.

 

"Sure, yeah, I know exactly where he is," Darcy nodded, before going straight for her desk, putting her trapper keeper down.  "Where he's actually been---you know, all weekend."

 

"Where?!" Sue asked breathlessly.

 

"Uhm---my hotel room?" Darcy shrugged, looking wary.  

 

A single slow clap started in the top corner of the lab and Darcy rolled her eyes looking up at Clint.  Eventually Jane joined in.  Then Tony.  Bruce was even goaded into it and Rhodey reluctantly clapped via telephone hologram.  Sue was the last to join aside from Reed, but Darcy blamed that on the weirdness of a sister clapping for her brother getting some, but she was smiling at Darcy, so it probably wasn't too bad.

 

Johnny walked into a raucous applause and took a bow without asking what it was for.  He was on Darcy like a magnet and he nodded at Sue.

 

"So---do we still have that brownstone in Brooklyn?" he wondered.  "Me and the little lady are apartment hunting and I hear that's a pretty hot spot."

 

"Holy shit, she tamed the beast, she did the unattainable," Tony shook his head in wonder.  "Lewis!  You are not allowed to meet Pepper.  Too dangerous."

 

"Too late," Darcy winked at Tony.  "We're writing a book together."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have continuations in mind for this story, where maybe, someday, Darcy DOES get to meet Steve Rogers finally. But this story would have a touch (or a lot) of conflict and angst, and I'm not sure I want to write it yet. But you never know!
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!


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